Welcometofeedyourfamilytonightpodcasteachweek.Weareservingupmotivationandinspirationtohelpyougetweeknightdinneronthetablelettingyourecapturealittle,andthecrazyandnowyourhostspeakerauthorandmarriedmother-of-fourMarieFIBA.Hellofriend,welcometotheFuturefamilytonightpodcastepisode113.TodaysepisodeisareplayofanepisodethatIrecordedinthemiddleoftheearlystagesofthatpandemicinthespringof2020titledtheemotionalburdenoffeedingyourfamilythisepisodeguysintosomanythingsthatweighonusasweconsiderfeedingourfamiliesandIthinkitsreallyagreatepisodetosharethistimeofyearaswegetreadyforthenewyearandstartthinkingaboutwhathabitsdowewanttobuildinthenewyearandhowcanthesehaveithelpusmakedinneralittlebiteasiertositback.Enjoy.Illbebacknextweekwithanall-newepisode.HappyNewYearfriends.Hellofriends,welcometotheFuturefamilytonightpodcast,ImyourhostMarieSeebachandtodaysepisode75hardtobelieve75episodesinbutIkindoflikethattodayspodcastisonaniceroundnumber.Itsalittlebitdifferenttodaytoday.IamgoingtobetalkingabouttheemotionalburdenoffeedingyourfamilyandIwanttoprefacethisbysayingthatIloveseeingmyfamily.ItissomethingthatIactivelychooseandIdoenjoyitbutitalsodoesntmeanthatitdoesntcomewithbird.Todayspodcastisgoingtobealittlebitdifferent.IamalittlenervousbecauseImgoingtochoosetobealittlebitrawandalittlebitrealaboutsomeofthatbehindthescenesofmyfamilythatIhaventsharedtoomuchpubliclyaboutWereallhavingallthefeelsrightnow.FormeknowingthatImnotaloneandthatotherpeopleareexperiencingsomeofthesamethings.Imexperiencingcanhelpme.Theotherthingissometimeshearingotherpeoplesexperiencesbringstolighttherealityofwhatshappeninginmyworld.IllexplainthatalittlebitlaterbecauseIdefinitelyhadafewahamoments.SothatskindofthepointoftodayspodcastisfirstofallisIwantyoutofirstandforemostknowthatfeedingyourfamilyisworthyanditisagoodthingtodo.SecondthingisIwantyoutoknowthatthatdoesntmeanitsnothardthethirdthingisIhopethatsharingalittlebitofmystoryyoumightrecognizeafewofthethingsthatmightbehappeningevencompletelysubconsciouslyforyouforme.Sometimesjustgettingsomethinginnamemakestheburdenalittleeasiertobear.sothatswhattodayspodcastisgoingtobeabout.BeginningoftheinspirationforthispodcastprobablyhappenedinDecemberwhenIlistentoanotherpodcast.IloveLisaWoodrufforganize365inDecember.ShehadEverodskyonherpodcastEverothystheauthorofthebookstairplay.IwilllinktothebookandIwilllinktothepodcast.IwanttotellyouIhavenotreadthebookbutlisteningtothisinterviewwithEvethereweresomanythingsthatcametolightandIfoundmyselfstoppingitandplayingitformyhusband.Validatedbylisteningtoherstory.EvewhenshewastalkingwithLisatalksaboutthestoryoftheFrenchsyellowmustard.ShesaysLittleJohnnywillonlyeathisproteinwithFrenchsyellowmustard.Hewonteathishotdogs.Hewontheischicken.HewonteathislittlepiecesofgroundbeefunlesshehasadollopofFrenchsyellowmustardonhisplateandMomknowsthisandMomnoticesthatshesgettingalittlebitlowonFrenchsyellowmustard.Sosheputsitonthegrocerylistmomsgettingalittlestressedout.Andsodadcomesinandsays,letmetakesomethingoffyourhandsandhesaidIllgotothegrocerystoreforyouandshehasthisreallythegrocerylistandonthelistisFrenchsyellowmustardandDadgetstothegrocerystoreandFrenchsmakesfivedifferentkindsofmustardanddadcomeshomewithgrainyspicy.DijonFrenchsMustardmomsupsetbecauseshehashotdogstonightbecausehedoesnHavetheregularFrenchsyellowmustard.ShesupsetthatDadgotthewrongkindofmustardanddadfeelsupsetbecausewhatwasonthelistitwasFrenchsitwasyellow.Itwasmustard.HedidntknowthatJohnnywonteathisproteinswithoutFrenchsyellowmustard,andhedidntknowthattheresadifferencebetweenyellowmustardandDijonmustard.HelikesDijonmustard.HegotthekindofFrenchsMustard.Helikes.Heslike,whydoIeventryhelpingyou?BecauseIcantgetit.RightandthemomislikewhydoIevenaskforhelpbecauseyoucantgetit,right?IheardthestorythatyouvesaidonLisaspodcast.Iwaslikeyeshundredtimes.Yes.ItsnoonesfaultknowImademistakes.Youthinkitback.Therearesomanytinycalculationthatthatmotherhadmade.Firstofall,sheknowsthatJohnnywilleatproteinswithoutmustard.Sheknowsthebrandofmustard.Sheknowsthekindsofmustard.Sheknowsthatshesgettinglowonthebustard.Shegetsthemustardonthegrocerylistandthelastlittlestepisjusttogetitatthegrocerystoreandthatstuffwasntfollowedthroughcorrectly.ButthenDaddoesntknowthatJohnnywillonlyeathisproteinswithFrenchsyellowmustard.Dadknowsthatusuallymeetingsomethingelseontheplate,buthedoesntpayattentiontoexactlywhatitisbecausehedoesntneedtohedoesnthaveownershipofthatpieceofthepuzzle.Wouldyouarefeedingyourfamily?Therearedozensoflittleyellowmustardincidencesthatyouarecalculatinginyourheadatasubconsciouslevelandyoudontevenknowit.Thisweeksbeenhard.Mykidshadtheirfirstweekofdistancelearninglastweek.AndonFriday,alloftheemotionscametoaheadIhavenowmindyoumykidsare12to17.Sotheyarebigenoughtounderstandwhatshappeningintheworldandwhyweredoingwhatweredoingbutoneofmykidswentintohystericscryingsobbingsetforatleast45minutesbecauseoneofmyotherkidsusetheirtowelandallmykidshavemonogrammedtowelssothatIknowwhosepowerwasonthefloorandIknowwheretolookforthetowelsifItheyrenotwheretheybelongthenImgoingtowashthetowels.ItssomethingthatwevedonesinceourkidswerelittleanditsreallykindofHandytohaveeverybodysoweknowwhosthaleswhosbutoneofmykidsusetheotherkidstowelthatkidwasupset.Reallywasntaboutthetowel.Itwasjustalittlebitoflonghardweekanddistancelearningwashardandtheyfeltcoopedupandtheymisstheirfriendsandtryingtofigureoutwhatournewnormalis.Wevehadsomanychangeshappenedsoquicklythatitissohardforourmindstocatchupwithwhatishappeningtoourkidshadagiantsquabbleoverbreakfast.ThatwasovernothingandIknewonFridayThatmykidswerehurtingthattheywereexperiencinggriefandmyjobisMomwastostaycalmnow.Icanbeabitdramatic.ImusuallynotthecalledeverythingisgreattimeallthatonFriday.IwasbecauseIhadtobebutIwasstillconstantlycalculatingwhichkidsproblemneededtohavethemostattentionwhatorderdidIneedtogivemychildrenattentionandIwascalculatingwhichkidneededthemostofmerightnowbecausewellIhavefourchildren.ThereisonlyoneofmeandtheyhaveallbeenveryneedythisweekandIvehadtochooseandcalculatetheorderofhowImgivingmyselftothem.IwasFridaySunday.ItwasmylastturntobreakdownanditkindofstartedSundaymorning.Mykidslikesleeping.SoitwasntsuperearlyinthemorningandImawakesittinginbedtalkingtomyhusbandandIsaid,Idontknowwhattomakesomebreakfast.Idohusbands.LikewelljustmakebreakfastonSundaymornings.Usuallyinourfamilyduringtheweek.Illmakepancakesormuffinsorhashbrownsandbaconorsausageanddifferentcombinationsofthosethings.Itsusuallykindofabiggerbreakfastiskindofoneofourbigmealsoftheday.HesaidhowmuchyoumakethisorhowwouldshemakethatanditkeptsayingIcantIcantWhatwasreallyhappeningwasIrealizedthatthereisnotasinglebreakfastfoodthatmyentirefamilywilleatwithoutcomplaint.Ivegotseveralkidswonteateggs.IhaveonekidthatcanthavedairyandIhaveanotherkidthatifIputalmondmilkorcoconutmilkinsteadofregulardairymilk,theycantasteitandtheywonteatitandtheywillcomplainandtheywillbeupsetandIhaveonepersonthatwonteatbaconandIhaveonepersonthatwonteatsausageandthereisnotasinglethingthatIcanmaketheeverybodywillbehappywithAndsoIhavetocalculatewhoamIgoingtomakefendforthemselves?Thereareveryfewmealsthateveryonewilleathappily.Therearemanymealsthateveryonewilleatbuttheresalwaysonepersonthatisntsuperhappywithit.AndthentheresplentyofmealswhereIknowthatonepersonisgoingtohavetofendforthemselvesanditruinourhouseisifyoudontwanttoeatwithsirfordinner,thatsfine.Youcanmakeyourselfsomethingelse.ButImhavingtochooseandrotatearoundwhichkidismakingsomethingforthemselves.AndIknewthatonFridaymykidthatisallergictofishwasntgoingtoeatwhattherestofthefamilywaseatingbecauseIwasmakingfishtacosfordinner.Sothatkidhadtofendforhimself.Ivegotmykidsthatwonteatdairywhenwehadpizzatheyatethereswithoutcheese,butitsjustnotthesamesothatkidwaskindoffendingforthemselves.AndIknowthatanotherkidreallyshouldbeeatinglowcarbbecauseitsbetterforthem.AndsoIdontwanttomakeabiggiantcinnamonrollthingbecauseitstoomuchcarbsshouldakidandIneedthathelpthembeashealthyaspossible.AndsoallthesesmalllittlemicrocalculationsthatIwasmakinginmyheadallthetimecametoaheadonSundayandIwasabletoarticulatetomyhusbandbutthatwaswhyitwashardformetofigureoutwhattomakeforbreakfastbecauseIwaschoosingwhichkidhadtofendforthemselvesandoneofthethingsthatIdocompletelyunconsciouslyitwasneverconsciousuntilSundayifImtryingtorotatearoundwhichkidisspendingforthemselves.Soitsnotalwaysthesamekid.TVsatyourhouseIsuspecttheresafewlistensouttherethatdo.AndthenasImsittingtheretalkingtomyhusbandandofcourseifIseetalkingreallyImcryingbecauseImupsetandoverwhelmedandallofthefieldsofbeingcoopedupandnotbeingabletogetthegroceriesthatIwantnotbeingabletogotothegrocerystoreandhavingmychildrenhereallthetimewasjustkindofwearingonmeandIwasinGrace.Iveworkedforcemeteries.IworkforcemeteriesformanyyearssellingcemeteryplotsandIhaveseenfamiliesincreaseitmanifestsitselfinreallystrangeways.Therearethepeoplethatgocompletelyintotaskmodewhenafamilymemberdiesandtheymakealistofeverythingthatneedstobedoneandtheyaretheyrecheckingthingsoffthelistmakingverylogicalcrispandcleardecisivedecision.Therearethepeoplethatengravestartcrackingreallyinappropriate.Thatistheonlywaythattheyknowhowtocopewiththepainthatishappeningaroundthem.Therearethepeoplethatcantgetthroughasentencewithoutchokingupandsobbingandcryingandyouarethepeoplethatgointocompleteapathyandtheyrelike,whateverdoesntmatteryoupickIdontcare.allofthemadorableIwasagriefIno.ImmorningwhatmylifeusedtobeandImcomingtotermswithallthechangesofwhatmylifeisnowandIwasinthesobbingstagewhereIcangettoasentencewithoutcryingthatwaswhereGreeceismanifestingitselfwithmeandasImtalkingtomyhusbandaboutbreakfastandhowIchoosecalculating.ItdawnedonmethatIdothatmuchmorewithfeedingmyfamily.oneexampleiswegetourbodiesfromalocalfarmerandwhenyougetbackandIWanttoBeFrugalandIwanttobeagoodStewardofmyresourcesandIdontwantthingstogotowasteandsoImakethesoupandIlikethesoupisgood.Myhusbandsays,Ijustdontlikesoupanddidntfinishthesoupwasservedandthrewitawayandthishappenedseveralweeksago,andIwascrestfallen.Iwassohurtthathethrewawaybysoupandagain.WehavebeansitsnotitsnotthatIjustwait.Wearegoodstewardsofourfoodbudgetandwetrytouseourfoodwisely.Myfamilyisverycarnivorous.Weeatalotofmeat.ThatsjustalotofitishowourbodiesThrivetherearesomepeoplewhosebodiesThrivewaroncarbsandsomepeoplewhosebodysurvivemoreproteinmostofthepeopleinmyfamilytheirbodiesThrivewithalotofproteinwhichisfine.Itiswhatitis.IhadmadethebeefsoupandIhadroastedthebonesandIhadmysimmerandIwastakingthemeatoffthebonesandmyhusbandhasaveryyoungagelike7or8yearsoldhasbeenveryadverseanythingfattyandIknowthisabouthim,hefreelyadmitsitthat,youknowfatorgristleoranykindofconnectivetissuejustbothershim,whichItsfine.ThatsjustthatshowheisasIwascuttingupthemeatforthisbeefsoupknowingthatmyhusbandwasveryselectiveabouthismeat.IgotancarefullyandpainstakinglyseparatedoutthemeatthatdidnothavefatdidnothaveconnectivetissueandIhadsetitasidejustforhimandIhadputitinabowl.WithpeasoupwhenyourefeedingsixpeoplethereisplentyofmeatforeverybodybuttheresnotalotofextrameatisnotliketheresabigroastthereandeverybodycanhaveallthemeatthattheywantandIservedmostofourmealsfromthestoveandIplayeditandthentheytakeittothetable.Andthisparticularnight.Ihadtakenthesoup.Ihadpainstakinglytriedtogetthenonfattypiecesofmeatformyhusbandandputitinabowlandthenpouredtherestofthistoputthevegetablesinthebrothoverhisspecialbowlofsoup.Ihadputinthateffort.ThenIhadservedeverybodyelsepickedathissoupdidnteathalfofitandthenthrewitawaycrestfallensohurtthatIwasbutwhatIdidntrealizeuntilSundaymorningwhyIwashurt.IwashurtbecauseIhadworkedhardtogivehimthebestandthenIhadsaideachofmychildrenaccordingtotheirneedsonekidwantsalittlebitmorepotatoesandalittlebitlesscornandtheotherkiddoesntwanttoomanygreenbeansandnothingelseinsteadmyhusbandthebestandthenIhadselectedoutformychildren.Andbytheway,Ijustgotosleep.ConsciouslyImcalculatingandintheendthereisverylittlemeatleftforme,whichisfine.IamnotIamnotwantingformebuttoseemyhusbandthrowawaywhatIhadselectedtobethebestandIdidwithoutVeryhurtfultome.AndonSunday,IwasabletoarticulatebacktomyhusbandandIsaidthisiswhyIwassoupsetaboutthestupidfewweeksago.YousaidIdidntevenrealizeituntilnow,butIhadcalculatedandservedasifitwaslessthanstellar.Howmanytimesdoyoumakelittlemicrocalculation?Maybeyouvegotonekidthatneedsalittlebitmorecarbs,oryougotonekidthatyoureworriedisntgettingquiteenoughprotein.Soyouremakingsuretoputinabundanceofitontheirplate.Somaybetheylleathalfofit.Maybeyouhaveafamilymemberthatdoesntprefermushrooms.Andsoanytimeyouseearecipewithmushrooms.Youjustflipoverintherecipebook,ormaybeyourelikemeandyouvegotpickykidsandyougotonekidsandtheyrenotthesamethingsandyourecalculating.Imnotonlythatbutyoucalculatetomakesurethatyouhavetheingredientsinthehouseforthemtofendforthemselves.Soifyouhaveakid,areyougottortillasandcheeseforthemtomakeaquesadillaoryouvegotacanofbeingsothattheycanmakethemselvesabeanburritooryouhavepeanutbutterandjelly,butyourkiddoesntlikethenaturalkindofbetterbecausetheyfinditwateryandoilyseeyoumakesurethatyoufindanotherbrandoforganicpeanutbutterthatstruekidwilleatthatishealthyaccordingtothestandardsthatyouhavesetforyourselfinyourhead.Itsokayforyourkidandyourkidthinksitsgoodbecauseitspreadableandtheycanspreaditonherownpeanutbutterandjellysandwiches.Thereareathousandmicrodecisionsthatwearemakingspoon.Weareinchargeofbeatingourhouseholddayinanddayoutandthoselittlemicrodecisionscontributetotheemotionalburdenoffeedingourfamilyandsometimestryingtoplanmealsforyourfamilydayindayoutandespeciallynowwerehavingtodothreemealsadayforourfamily.Wevegotbreakfast.Wevegotlunch.Wevegotdinnerwevegotsnacksandwehaveallofthedishesthatgowitheachofthosemeals.Itgetstobetoomuch.Andtheemotionalburdenisheavy.AndImnotsayingthisinawhilewithmekindofway.ImsayingthisbecausebybeingabletoseethatIammakingallthesemicrocalculationsmakesiteasiertomakethemicrocalculationsbecausetheyarenowbroughttothesurfaceandIcanseethatthatiswhatImdoingratherthanbeingupsetthatIdontknowwhattomakeforbreakfast.ButthereasonIdontknowwhattomakeforbreakfastisbecausetheresnotasinglebreakfasteveryoneinmyfamilywilleatwithoutcomplaint.Well,thenIjustknowthatIhavetopickwhosgoingtofendforthemselves.IknowthatwantedfendforthemselvesonThursdayandotherkidsendedforthemselvesonFriday.Andsonowitslikeokay.Well,itsthenextkidsturn.Soweregoingtomaketosootheappealtotheotherthreekidsorappealtothehusbandandthe4thkid.Itstheirturntofendforthemselves.ThelittleMikerescissionsareoneofthethingsthatmakeithard.Twomealplanweekinandweekout,butIwilltellyouthatchoosingtomealplanputallofthosemicrodecisionsintoonetimeandplaceandyourenothavingtomakethemeveryday.Sotheburdenofmakingthosemicrodecisionhappensatonetimeforthemealplanning.YoustillmightbemakingthosemicrodecisionswhenyouredivvyinguptheportionslikeIdowhereIgotonekidthatneedstohavealittlebitmoremeatandonekidthatneedsalittlebitmorecarsandIvecalculatedthatasImdishingoutthestir-frytomakesurethatthisonekidgetstheextravegetablesandthisotherkidgetstheextrameatandthisotherkidgetstheextranoodle.ImstillmakingdobutatleastmadethedecisionofwhatImgoingtomakeatthebeginningoftheweek,andIvecompressedsomeofthosemicrodecisions.Ifyoudonthavemymastermealplanningsheet,itsatfeedyourfamilytonight.CalmmasterandthatsheisawayforyoutosayIhaventmadethisinalongtimeandyoucanlookatthatMastermealplanningsheetandhelpyouwhenyouretryingtomakethisdecision.gettheweeklymealplanningsheettoowhileyoureatitbecauseitsreallyusefultoisitfeedyourfamilytonight.Calmplanandithelpsyougetyourweekmealplansdoneitonetimeliftingalittlebitofthatemotionalburdennotallofit,butalittlebitBecauseyourecompressingalotofthosemicrodecisionsintoonetime.Itshardnow.Itshardnottobeabletogotothegrocerystorewheneveryouwant.Itshardtohavetoconstantlymakingsubstitution.IaskedpeopleinthefeedyourfamilytonightFacebookRubenonInstagram.WhatshardaboutcookingnoworisitisCookieevenharderandtheresafewfamilieswereitsactuallyeasierbecausetheirbiggestbirdwasdoingwhateverholeatthesametime.Andsotheywerehavingtocalculatewhentheyweregoingtomakedinner.Aretheygoingtomakedinnerearlysothatpeoplecanhavebeforetheywenttoactivities.Weretheygoingtohavetowaitafteralltheactivitiesofworkweredoneandtheyrelike,thisiscrepe.Youreallhomeatthesametime.Somybiggestburnformealplanninghasbeenliftedbecauseourwholefamilyishomeatthesametime.TheresotherpeoplethatthebikethedishesandlikeImrighttherewithyou.ImrunningmydishwashertwotothreetimesadayrightnowwhichagainImsohappytodobutitsmoreworkthanitusedtobebecausemykidshadbaggiesandtheirlunchboxesandallthoselittlecontainerswerethrownaway.SoIdidnthavetoworryaboutlunchdishes.Ihavebaggiesthatweretossed,butIdidnthavetocleannomatterwhatIwantyoutoknowthat.Feedingyourfamilyisenough.Whenwesetidealsinourmindsforhowweshoulddoit.Ilikethepeanutbutterexamplewheretheidealistheall-naturalpeanutbutter,butyourehavingtocompromisebecauseayoucantfinditinthestoreorbeyourkiddoesntfinditspreadable.Andsoyouregivingtothemsomethingthatyouthinkislesser,butyourestilldoingyourbest.Youaredoingyourbestandyouareenoughandaswerenotgoingtothegrocerystoresfrequentlyandwecantgetthegroceriesthatwewantandaretryingtocalculatewhatkindofsubstitutionsweregoingtomakerightnow,whichishappeningtoallofusononeleveloranother.Knowthatitsokay.No,butitshardandknowthatyourbodyisgoingtoexperiencealittlebitofgriefandhoweverthatgriefcomesout.WhetheryouretheSaubertheTaskmasterthepersonwhosecrackinginappropriatejokesofthepersonwhosgoneintocompleteapathy.yournormalyoureokay.Andyouregoingtogetthroughthis.IwouldlovetocontinuethisdiscussionintofeedyourfamilytonightFacebookgroup.IIwanttoknowwhatisburningyouandallthewaysthatyouvegottenpasttheburdensbecauseWesawtofeedourfamiliesevenifitishard.IthankyouforlisteningtomeandunderstandingthatImnotperfect.Andwhilemykidsjokeandtheycallmethefoodlady.IdonthavealltheanswersanditscertainlynotUtopiainmyhouse.IstruggleeverydaytoImrighttherewithyouandIunderstand.IhopeyouUnderstandthatbeingvulnerableismywayofsayingthatIcareaboutyouandthatyoureokay.Sofornowfriends,thankssomuchforjoiningusonthefeedyourfamilytonightpodcast.IlookforwardtotalkingwithyouintheFacebookgroup.FollowmeonInstagram.IfyouwantedtodosomeofthecrazyAnticsthathavebeenhappeningthesepastfewweeks.Theresalwayssomethingtomakeyoulaughallmygoodness.ImatMarieSeebachonInstagram.SoIdlovetoconnectwithyouthereandwellcatchyounexttime.ThanksforlisteningtofeedyourfamilytonightpodcastwithyourhoesMariefiebach.Ifyouliketheshowandwanttoknowmore,pleasevisitfeedyourfamilytonight.Calmandifyoudliketohelpsupporttheshow,pleaseleavearatingorreviewoniTunesorapplepodcastithelpedspreadthewordthatyoucanfeedyourfamilytonight.

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