WelcometotheFuturefamilytonight,podcast,doyoudreadhearingthequestion,whatsfordinner?Whetheryouspendyourdays,keepingupwithtoddlers,runningkidstoafter-school,activitiesarejuggling,acareerandfamilygettingdinneronthetable.CanbeastruggleforusallIdontreceivebackabusinessownerwifeandmomoffour.Imonamissiontobuildstrongerfamilies.Onedinneratatime.AndImherewithtips,tricksandinspiration.Youneedtofeedyourfamilytonight.Hellofriends,welcometothefeed,yourfamilytonight,podcastepisode138,ImyourhostMariefiebachandIamsohappytobeherewithyoutoday.Theyweregoingtotalkaboutfamilyculture,asthebusyreturns.WhenIthinkabouttopicsforthispodcast,IamoftenreallypayingattentiontowhatImseeingpeopletalkaboutonsocialmedia.Whatiscurrentandwhatshappeninginthemindsofmoms,astheyareinacertainseasonoflife,anditseemslikethepastfewdays.Ihavebeengettingbombardedwithpeople.Talkingaboutwhatitfeelslikeastheworldkindofstartstoopenupagain.Andthebusystartsreturning,onefriendpostedonFacebook,thatshefeelslikethesummerisflyingbyandanotherfriendcommentedonthatpost.HowtheymissedtheslowerPacethatourfamilieshadDuringthepandemicandwasquestioninghowasmomstokindofpushbackagainstabusy,busybusygo-go-goNorm,thatiskindofstandard,Americanculture,andkeepalittlebitofthatslowpace.Thatweallgainedinthepandemic.Iwastalkingwithanotherfriendthismorningandwehadntseeneachotherinoverayearandweweretalkingabouthowourfamilieskindofwhetherthepandemicandhowthingswereinourhomesandwebothexpressedhowitwashard.Therearesomereallyhardtimesbuttheoneblessingwasthatwewerentbrushandwedidntfeelthego-go-goandwerestartingtofeelthatgo-go-go,kindofcreepbackintoourlives.Andtoday,Ijustwanttotalkaboutthatalittlebit.IwanttostartbyaskingyouaquestionandifyoulisteningtotheendyouregoingtohearwhatmybiggesttakeawayisandwhatIreallybelievethatwecandoasmomstokindofpushbackagainstthat.Gogogo.Sostaytilltheendwithme.ButthequestionIhaveforyouisHowdoyoufeelaboutthebusystartingtocomebackintoyour,lifeisntevencomingbackintoyourlife.Soifyou,itmaybecomingbackandsomeofyoumaybestillinthatslowerPace,thatthepandemickindofforceduponus.Whatkindofchangedidthepandemicbringtoyourfamily?Whatkindofchangedoesitmaketotherhythmofyourlife?Icanspeakformyselfasthingsarekindofmovingintoapositivedirection.Idonotmissthefearoflastsummer.Idonotmisstheuncertainty,ortheextremeisolation.AndtheotherthingIdontmissisthatweirdtiredbrainfogthatIhadespeciallyearlyinthepandemic.Idontknowifyoufeltthatbrainfogifyouhadit,butIdefinitelyexperienceditandIdonotmissthatnow.ButwhatIdomissistheslowerpaceoflifethatourfamilyhadourgirls.AndIgotintoarhythmwhereeveryafternoonabout3,wewouldstopwhateverweweredoingandwewouldgotothefamilyroomandsitaroundthecoffeetableandwewouldplayaboardgame9timesoutof10.WewereplayingTickettoRideEurope.Therewasjustsomethingaboutthatgame.Thatwasourpandemicgame.Weplayedotheronesbutthatonewasinheavyrotation,itafterweplayedagame,wewouldgoforawalkandthenIwouldcomehomeandfixdinner.Ourfamilyduringthattimelastyearbuiltdeepconnections.Itwasahardtime,butitwasfilledwiththeblessingofdeepconnectionsformanyyears.Thisislongbeforethepandemic.IwasinacycleofwhatInowcalled,SummerWhiplash,whereonesummer,Iwouldcompletelyoverschedulemykidsandwewouldberunningfromthingtothing,twothingandaboutJuly,Idsay,Iamneverdoingthisagain.Wearenotdoinganythingnextsummerandthenextsummer,IwouldunderstandwhileourkidsandabouttheendofJune.Iwouldbefranticallylookingforcansthatstillhasspaces,openthatIcanputmykidsin,becausewewereinanextremestateofboredom,andIwasgoingcrazyandthiswentbackandfortheverytwoyearsformany,manyyears.Remember,mykidsareteenagers,andsotherewasprobablyaMichaeloflike6to8yearswhereoneyearwouldbeover,bookedthenextyearwouldbeunderbookedanditwaskindofthatsummer,IcallitsummerWhiplash.Idontknowifyouhaveeverfeltthatlastyear,wehadaquietsummer,butIdidntfeelthesummerWhiplash.AndasIlookbackonit,Ithinkalotofitisbecauseyouaremissingoutonanything.Noonewasdoinganything.Allofthecampswereclosed,alloftheactivitieswereclosedandsotherewasntanythingtomissouton,itwasjusttherealityofoursituation.Now,donotgetmewrong,mychildrenhadlotsofdisappointment,lastyeartherewerecampsthattheyhadbeenlookingfortwoforfiveandsixyearsthattheywerefinallyabletogotoandtheycouldntgotoit.Therewereactivitiesthattheyhadwantedtodoformen.HowmanyyearsandoneofthemwasbeinginMusicTheatreofWichitateenchoirandmydaughterhadauditionedandgotteninandshesbeenlookingforwardtothisforsomanyyearsandthenitwasallcanceled.Theydiddooneperformanceandthatwaskindofthehighlightofhersummer,butforthemostpart,nothingwashappening.Andsowedidntfeellikeweweremissingoutonanything.TheresafamousquotefromTheodoreRooseveltthatsayscomparisonisthethiefofjoyandonethingsthatwelearnedduringthepandemicwasit,therewasnothingtocompareeachothertobecausenoonewasdoinganything.AndsowefoundjoyinourquietPaceathome.AndIknowthatwerenottheonlyoneswhofoundjoyinthatquietPaceathome.Wewerentworriedaboutmissingoutonopportunities.Wewerentworriedaboutmissingoutonsummerenrichment,sothatwecouldbebetterintheschoolyear.Wedidnthaveanythingtocompareourselvestoandsowejustfoundjoyeventhoughitwasreallyhardinthatquiet,peaceathome.ImwonderingifyoufoundjoyinyourquieterPaceathome,thisfriend,whocommentedonthisFacebookpost.Shesaid,Iwishweasmomscouldfindawaytokindofpushbackagainstthecultureandfindawaytocarveoutmoreslowtimeforourfamily.Hereatfeedyourfamily.Tonight,Imalwaysgoingtosaythattheeasiestwaytodothatistoeattogetherbecausethefamilydinnertableiswhereconnectionissoeasy.Itiswhereconnectionhappens.Ivetalkedbeforeabouthowmyteensbecausewehavebuiltacultureoffamilydinners,inourhomewilloccasionallybringtendertopicstousandwewilltaketimeandwewilltalkaboutthoseandasIwasreflectinggettingreadyforthispodcast,Irealizedthatmostofthetimewhenmychildrenwouldbringtendertopicstothetable,itwasonSundaymorningsatbrunch.AndIstartedthinkingaboutwhySundaymorningsatbrunchforthetimesthatmychildrenwould,mostfrequentlybringtheirtendertopicstothedinnertable.AndthereasonIbelievethattheypitchSundaymorningsinourhomeisbecausethatisthemealwiththemostspaciousness.Atwhat,whatisspaciousnessspaciousnessforme,iswherethereisalargeblockoftime?Thatisunstructuredandtherearenocommitments,andinourfamilywehavebeenworkingreallyhardtotryandkeepourSundaysasquietaspossibletryingtokeepourcommitmentsonSundaysdownasmuchaspossible.WewentthroughaseasoninMaywearthatdidnothappenforabout4weeksstraightbecausewehadgraduationsandmysonhadhisEagleScoutcourtofhonorandwewereridiculouslybusyonSundaysinourfamily,feltitandwefeltthatstress.Andassoonaswegotthroughthatseason,westeppedbackandwesaidwegottoreclaimourSundaysthatSundaymorningbrunch.Mykidsknowthatthereshoursleftintheday.Itsnotlikeitsadinnerwhereeventuallyyouregoingtohavetogetyourhomeworkdoneandyouregoingtohavetokindofgetthehousepay.Stopandgetsetforthenextdayandgetofftobed,becauseweoftentendtoeatalittlebitlaterintheevenings,inourhome.Andso,theresnotquiteasmuchspaceasEarnestintheevenings.PutonSundaymorning.ItfeelslikeyouhavethewholedayaheadofyouandyouhavethespaciousnessasboredomkindofSparkscreativity.IreallybelievethatspaciousnessatthedinnertablecansparkadeeperconnectionwithyourfamilywhenIwasinhighschool.TherewasalocalbandcalledroomfullofWaltersandIwishIstillhadtheCDbecausetheyhadthissongonitanditwas,itwasarealpuppylovesong,thatiscalledwastingtimewithyouandthelyricsweredoingthings.Weknowwedonthavetimetodo.Iamwastingwastingtimewithyouandwhatagiftofwastingtime.Withyourfamilybecauseitsnotwastingtimeatall.IsthatgiftofspaciousnessthatgiftofaslowerPacethatbuildadeeperconnection.Andthatswhythatsongwassuchagreatlovesongbecausethisspaciousnessofdoingthingsthatarejustawasteoftimecancreatesuchadeepconnectionbecauseitreallyisntawasteoftimeatall.Isit?ItsreallyAwisechoicetouseyourtimetocreatespaciousnesswithyourfamily.So,ourlivesarestartingtofilluprightnow.Idontknowifyourefeelingitbutthatbusyisstartingtocreepinanditsallgood.Things,werebackindanceclassandmysonisincollege,andmydaughtersworkingajobandweredoingactivities.Mytwoyoungesttwinsareinaplaywheretheyhaverehearsals6hoursaday.Itsits,itsgoodthings,butwerelosingsomeofthatspaciousness.AndImheretoencourageyoutothinkaboutcarvingoutalargeblockoftimeonaweeklybasisforyourfamily,sothatyoucancreatethatspace.Sothatyoucanbuildconnections.Oneofthebiggestblessingsofthepandemicwasaslowerpace.So,howcanyoucarveouttimeinourfamilylately?Itseemslike,Sundaybrunchhasbeenthetimeforustocreatealittlebitofspaciousnessandyourfamily.ItmightbeFridaynight,pizzanight,whereyoureonlyagendaitemforFriday.Nightsistoeatpizzaasafamily,andmaybeaplayaboardgameafterwards,maybeorwatchamovieafterwards,butyoudonthavetodo.Youhavethatspaceandyouhavethattimeandyouhavethatblackofagendaforotherfamilies.Especiallyifyourkidsarealittleitmightbepancakes.ChocolatechippancakesonSaturdaymorningformanymanyyears.ThatwasourplaceofspaciousnessaswewouldgetuponSaturdaymorningandIwouldmakechocolatechippancakesformykids.Itdoesntreallymatterwhereyoucreatethespaciousness,butImheretoencourageyoutocreatethatsothatyoukeeptheblessingofthepandemic,whichisaslowerpaceandaplaceofconnectionwithyourfamilyfornow,friends.Iamsogladthatyoutookthetimetolistentothefeed,yourfamilytonightpodcast,ifyouwanttohelpthispodcasttogrow,willyousharethisepisodewithsomeonewhomightneedalittlebitofencouragementandcarvingoutsomespaciousnessandtheirfamilyshareitonyoursocialmedia.Tagmeifyoucanjustatfeedyourfamilytonightthisishowwecansharethismessage.Thatfamilyconnectionisimportantandafamilydinnertableisgoingtobeeasierway.Canafriend,takecare,welltalkwithme.

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