Episode 156 Not Everything Has to Be Important.mp3 – Transcript
Welcome to the Feed Your family tonight, podcast. Do you dread hearing the question? What’s for dinner? Whether you spend your days, keeping up with toddlers, running kids to after-school, activities are juggling, a career and family getting dinner on the table. Can be a struggle for us. All on a reef ebach a business owner wife and mom of four. I’m on a mission to build stronger families. One dinner at a time. And I’m here with tips, tricks and inspiration. You need to feed your family tonight. Hello friends, welcome to the Future family tonight podcast episode 256. I’m your host and I am so happy to be here with you today because today we’re talking about a very important topic and that is that not everything has to be important at. That didn’t confuse, you confuse myself, but they talk about how you get to choose. What is important in your home, and how that can change throughout the different seasons of your life. I have so many thoughts on this subject and later on, in the episode. I’m going to tell you about a post that I read years ago, that really my heart and how I perceived, what other people were doing with their dinners, because we live in Instagram, and Facebook world where we’re getting. Lots of messages are getting lots of people’s High. And sometimes we can just say, I’m not paying attention to that, and sometimes it can make us feel less than. And I am here to bring a healthy reality dose that you are doing a great job and just because you’re not doing what your neighbor or your best friend, or your sister, or your mom. Oh my goodness. The mom guilt. Sometimes is doing or how they did. It. Just not me that you are doing it wrong. We are all not going to be great at everything that I have said, many, many times, but I can fix you dinner. But I am a terrible housekeeper, and please never ask me to help you with an English assignment. Seriously, my sister helps my children with their term papers because I am terrible at it. There’s a reason I prefer podcasting over blocking in that is because I would rather talk. Then have to write, we all have different gifts and we all have different things that we’re good at. And I want you to know that. If you do not love to cook, you can still feed your family. Well, if you are not a great cook. You can still feed your family. Well while back I had Kendra. She on the podcast, she calls herself, the lazy genius and she lives her life by guiding set of principles. And one of her principles is named. What matters? Now I really like this idea because when it comes to family dinner, this is so important and it can be really really free because what matters to someone else does not have to matter to you. We all have the same goal and that is feeding our family but there are a lot of ways to get to the end goal and we don’t have to take the same path to getting dinner on the table. No one’s path is right, and no one’s path is wrong. And this is super important. Is that what matters can change in different seasons of life. This past week, in my home has been crazy in my house. It is the kind of weak. When you look at your calendar of tightly packed commitment and hope and pray that nothing unexpected will happen because if one job no Falls, the whole thing to just trickled down into complete chaos. It is mostly good stuff. I’ve got three girls in two different places. I had a college student who was in the middle of midterm exams. My husband had a giant project at work. He was in complete survival mode at work and that trickle down to our family in survival mode. So what matters would I am in a season for me? This was a week for you might be larger. When I am in a season of survival mode. There are four things that matter to me. The first one is that everyone gets fed. The second one is that my kids get a reasonable amount of nutrition and I’m going to dig into that one a little bit deeper. The third one is that I don’t make anything complicated that takes too much of my bandwidth because the margin of error and a crazy week is really narrow. And the four thing that matters is that there are plenty of leftovers so that my children can take early plates. They can make late plates that they can have really Hardy lunches and Hardy’s next. So I want to make sure that whatever I’m making for dinner. That I am making double that and sometimes even more. So that there is plenty of party food that they can eat whatever they happen to be floating in and out of the house. If you have a little too, it’s a little different but I’ve got teenagers and two of them are driving and that means that there’s a lot of freedom and they’re coming in and out at different times. What doesn’t matter in busy Seasons. I have three things and this is just as important as what does matter, and I’m going to dig into that a little bit to what does it matter. Number one is, It doesn’t have to be elaborate or fancy, the second thing. And this is where I’m talking about nutrition. Is it does not have to be perfectly nutritionally balanced. It’s one week friends. I always have plenty of veggies in my house. I’m going to try and make sure that I’ve got some good lean protein, but I’m not going to panic. If a kid has frozen chicken nuggets for dinner when they get home at 10 at night from play practice. The third thing that doesn’t matter is that we all eat together at the same time, save aren’t you? The person who advocates for family dinners, you bet but not this week and you know, why not this week because I have no idea when my husband’s going to get home. I have kids that their schedule, dictates that there is not a time where they are all physically home at the same time. And I’m not going to contrive to have a family meal at 3 in the afternoon or 10:30 p.m. At night for a week. That is just crazy. We had plenty of family time and I make it a priority in other Seasons, but when you got a week or you’re incomplete survival mode, it is not a priority that my family is sitting down to eat together all at the same time. This takes the burden off my husband when he is working on a crazy work project. He doesn’t feel the pressure to have to rush home when he could be more efficient and just spend another 30 minutes at work to kind of finish what he’s doing, and it honestly makes my life easier because I can cook whenever it works for me. I’ve talked before about my friend, Shannon who used to make dinner at 10 in the morning and she would put individual portions of the dinner in the refrigerator. And whenever her family came in and out. They just grab whatever was in their container and ate it. When they were able to, that’s kind of similar to what I have done this week. Usually, we have days where we are not all home at the same time. I’ll write on my weekly meal plans that I post on Instagram every Monday. I put the meal time and then I’m going to put / shift for my dinner bell, on the feed, your family tonight, weekly meal, planning sheet. And that usually means that we eat together except for one person who’s coming in or out and it’s going to have an early plate or late late, but 90% of the time, I am fixing them, a late late. So, they’re eating after the rest of us have to eat. But this week, my daughter was in high school play in between her work schedule, her school and her play. She had missed a lot of meals, and she was kind of grabbing random granola bars here in the air. Sometimes she eat the salad that I would make her at dinner time. And it would sit, but she wouldn’t actually eat dinner because my 10:00 at night, after you eat granola bars and candy all day. You really don’t want to sit down to a bowl of beef soup. And she was in need of what I would call quote, on quote real food. She just needed some dinner food rather than all of these weird snacks. So I decided to make dinner at 4 in the afternoon for a couple of days, so that she could eat a dinner with protein and veggies before she left off, her play practice. And honestly, she came back, and she has some hummus and veggies, and some peanut butter and bananas at 10:30 at night. We didn’t eat together the entire week and I was okay with that. I don’t want this to become a habit. But it’s what we had to do. To keep the dominoes from falling in our family. This week when you are feeding your family. What is important to you now? Are their values that you felt were important in the past that are no longer important to you, or they’re not serving you in this current season. One thing that was really important to me in the past was that I had a really tight grocery budget. But as our family’s finances, evolved our budget kind of expanded a little bit more seasons in my life where it was worth it for me to go to for grocery stores, to get the best price on every item in my cart. And there was nothing wrong with that. But now my time is getting a little more valuable than the cost of what’s in my grocery cart and it is less important if I pay a dollar more for the cottage cheese at my Dylan store rather than making an extra trip to the Walmart, where the cottage cheese is a dollar less to get the best price. It doesn’t bother me to pay the extra dollar to get the cottage cheese because my time is becoming more valuable right now. You may be in a season where your money is really tight and going to a few stores is more valuable and you’ll be in a season where it’s okay to pay the extra dollar to get the car. Both are fine. But you need to identify what kind of season you are in and what is important to you. Right? Now. Another example is. Everything in my house has to be homemade. There was a time where I made my own granola bars and I braided my own chicken nuggets and I made my own homemade chicken broth all the time. I never bought a box of chicken broth. Now. I I love my homemade chicken broth and I make it anytime I have chicken bones, but I have been known on more than one occasion to buy a box of chicken broth, and it’s totally fine. I have chicken broth in my cart pretty regularly. Because I’m not making as many roast chickens because our life has changed a little bit and I don’t have as many bones plus the Box brought his kind of easy and it’s kind of convenient and we are days where that’s just what I need you. Maybe in a season where do value having everything home and you may be in a season where everything is coming from the freezer section or the deli section. Either are wrong. What season are you in right now? What are the things that matter to you right now? Maybe you have some new health concerns and you are having to drastically change the way that you are cooking and you are feeding your family and feeding yourself. Then things that are going to matter are every ingredient and you’re going to be reading the boxes and the bags to make sure that there are any of the allergens are things that you are trying to avoid in the food there. Also, maybe Seasons where you are just grabbing. Whatever is the cheapest off the shelf and it doesn’t matter too much. What the ingredients are. My whole point in this is that everything cannot matter because when everything matters, nothing matters, you have to choose what is important to you and your family. In this season. I said at the beginning of this podcast that there was a post that I read a while back there. Challenge my thinking and it was a really great reflection that I kind of wish I could find it. Because there was just some really great information that this author had I basically was a reflection on this mother who had this Pinterest perfect birthday party for her child. There were a lot of moms that we’re kind of giving her some slack for it, like rolling her eyes that she was this Pinterest. Perfect, show mom, but what they missed was that this mother loved every bit of color, coding everything from the invitation, to a party. Decorations to that handmade cookies that were on the well-decorated table. She went all out. Brought her so much joy, but the other mom’s kind of shamed her for having this persis Perfection. And the author said that this mother should not feel bad about crafting, a lovely party because it brought her Joy. She wasn’t doing it to make the others. Think that she was perfect. She did it because she wanted to do. If you are that Pinterest, mom, who is having everything organic and everything, homemade. And that is what is important to you in this season. Do not apologize for it. And if you are the mom who is in a crazy busy season and the birthday party is nothing but some streamers and some cupcakes that you bought from the grocery store. That is okay. To use both of these mom, what matters to them. And that’s what happens when you name what matters to you. Would? You are feeding your family. Everything from a hundred percent. Homemade organic local food, all the way to table. That is having nothing but frozen dinners. With people kind of floating In-N-Out and everything in between is okay. The value I want to share is that family dinners are really important, but it doesn’t have to be perfect to still create an environment where stability and connection are happy, being with your family. Family. Dinners are a great way to build stability and connection with your family. But if you have a day or a week or a season where your daughter is catching random granola bars here there is okay to name what matters for this season and see how you are feeding your family because feeding your family is enough friends. I said this before you are enough, I am here to help you if you have questions about challenges that you’re having. By 2, do it on your coaching call. It’s at feed your family, tonight.com slash apply. I would love to talk with you about some of your challenges and help you figure out techniques that will work in the season that you are in because different things matter at different seasons. I am so happy that I could be here to help you and walk you along the path to creating a better stability and better connection with your family. And that may need teaching you ways to cook and it may be teaching you how to find some convenience food to make your life easier for now friends. I can’t wait to connect with you in the future family tonight. Facebook group. We are going to talk about what is mattering to us right now as we see our families and see that it’s going to be different things, and that is good. Can’t wait to connect with you. Therefore now friend. Take care.